oh-you-better-run:

Because someone asked me about my Augustus Caesar feelings and it was perilously unwise, here’s the thing: the Emperor Augustus, also known as Octavian, also known as the first citizen of Rome, also known as the son of a god, also known as “that fucking brat”, he is my favourite person in all of history.

I realise that this must seem a little odd, given that he is, in essence, a dictatorial cis white man, (I’d throw heterosexual in there, but culturally bisexual, you know? And if you don’t know what that means, we need to talk about it at some point, because it does not mean what you think it means), but here’s the other thing: Augustus is probably the most magnificent bastard in all of history. Augustus was unpredictable, ruthless, and, above all, underestimated by all of his opponents. That may, of course, have had something to do with the fact that at the start of his rise to power he was only nineteen years old. (Cut for length and insanity).

Read More

Oh, hi there. Did you want to read a concise and surprisingly accurate, if hilarious, account of how Octavian came to power? 

Good news! Postcard wrote one.

And it did need to be done. Because really. I mean REALLY. No one thought that little sickly bastard was going to succeed Caesar. 

NO ONE was walking around Rome going. “Yeah, I know him. He will lead the Republic to great things.” (Yes, yes Rome was arguably an empire by this point but I’m pretty sure Joe-on-the-street-Roman still thought of it as a republic.)